Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
He couldn't afford plane fare.

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Regular rocks are too heavy.

How did the Irish Jig get started?
Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!

How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
He's Dublin over with laughter!

What's Irish and stays out all night?
Patty O'furniture!

What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover??
A rash of good luck!

What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan?
A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!

Did you hear about the leprechaun who went to jail?
He was a lepre-con!

What baseball position do leprechauns usually play?
Shortstop!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Irish. Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!</